“Family – a Place Where Children Feel Belonging and Needed; No Orphanage Can Provide Them This Feeling.”
In 2006, Liliya Rudakova, the mother of Kharkiv resident Irina Golub, organized a family-type children’s home (FTCH). Irina initially supported her mother and later moved to another city. However, when she returned to Kharkiv with her husband Igor in 2012, they learned about the project to create a FTCH through an international foundation. The Child Services invited Irina and Igor for an interview regarding establishing a foster family.
“Eight teenagers came into our lives, and we were allocated a house in Pomerky Forest Park – that’s where it all began. At the time of establishing the FTCH, I already had my biological twin girls, and my second husband and I had been married for six years, but we didn’t have any children together. Then, I signed the contract and found out that I was pregnant,” Irina recalls with a smile.
According to Irina, the foster children were already quite grown-up, and it wasn’t always easy to care for them. Nevertheless, Irina and her husband tried to be more like friends than traditional parents.
Later, the Golub family built a house in Pisochyn and decided to move there with the children. Over time, the composition of the family changed as some children reached adulthood, and Irina and Igor took in new kids. Throughout most of their journey, the family consisted of ten foster children, and currently, they care for seven, with the youngest being six and the eldest fourteen.
Irina emphasizes that she is not afraid to take in children with disabilities. Currently, their family includes a girl with epilepsy and a boy with hearing impairments.
“All children need a family – people who will care for them. A family is a place where children always feel loved and needed. No orphanage can provide them with this feeling. Even if you have already graduated from the foster home, you can turn to us with any problem, and we will help you with money, documents, or advice. Because all our foster children become our own,” she underscores.
Since 2013, fifteen graduates have left the FTCH to live independently. Almost all of them stay in touch with their parents. At the beginning of the full-scale war, they were offered to evacuate the children from Kharkiv, but the Golub family chose to stay in Pisochyn. They set up a cinema in the basement where neighbors also gathered with their children. They would watch cartoons and movies while hiding from shelling. The family lived in this bomb shelter for a month and a half in the spring of 2022.
“What are the rules in your family?”
“Always telling the truth. Everything can be forgiven, and we can discuss anything. If you want to do something, we can talk about it and find a solution. No smoking, no alcohol. Older children have these rules. Every child is unique, with their own challenges, and we need to communicate with each of them differently.”
The children in the Golub family help their parents – some do dishes, some peel potatoes, and others fetch water from the well. There is always a lot of work. Irina says that the FTCH parents rarely get any time off.
“We are constantly supported by the local council and various foundations that organize the development and recreation of children, hobby clubs. Thanks to the support project for FTCH implemented by the Global2000 foundation and ‘Volunteers: Adults – Children’ foundations, funded by Great Britain, we plan to update the furniture. We also received a stove and a freezer thanks to the help of Polish donors. We are grateful to all the philanthropists who, although distant, are like family to us,” says Irina.
She is confident that those intending to create a FTCH should not be afraid.
“It’s not an easy 24/7 job, but when you see the children’s happy eyes, their joy in little things, and take pride in their achievements – that’s what motivates and prevents burnout. You need to understand that for children with disabilities, even holding a spoon correctly or learning a few letters is already an achievement. They come to you with their troubles, thoughts, plans, and random joys. Foster parents support each other, help, and offer advice. New parents shouldn’t be afraid of difficulties – everything can be resolved. And there will never be a dull moment,” Irina shares.
The Golub family’s children interact with children from other FTCHs, such as Liliya Rudakova’s (Irina’s mother) FTCH, and Olena and Oleksiy Kurbatov’s FTCH (Irina’s biological uncle). It is essential that both biological and foster children befriend one another and socialize, as the foundation for strong relationships is laid in youth and family.